A Letter To Myself

2017 so far has been quite the learning experience, here is a bit of a back story for those who don't know.  Since 2011 my father has lived with follicular lymphoma cancer,  at the beginning of 2017 they found 2 new tumours,  one by his heart and one on his spine.  Through the month of January we did not know what the actual details were and the steps forward that would have to be taken with treatment,  we later found out he needed a stem cell transplant,  which is a very risky thing to have done.  On top of this many other traumatic experiences happened to ones I care deeply about around me.  Through this experience I went through moments of fully loosing myself and who I was,  so here is a letter to myself during a time of need.  

A LETTER TO MYSELF

 Although things might be down and you feel yourself holding onto the thin strands of the "perfect life" you stepped foot on journey with, don't be scared.  Don't become that insecure,  obsessive and troubled teen you were before.  Instead, power through with trust!  Don't ever sacrifice yourself,  even if in that moment you feel as that's all you can do, as nothing can be solved when you've lost who you are.  Be who you are and true to yourself as the ones you love around you that's the person they know and trust,  not this insecure version of yourself.  The little things might feel biggest to worry about,  not because they are,  yet because it's easier to focus on that instead of the real issues in front of you.  Face what you fear with the face of attack in your eyes, don't shut out the ones you love when you're scared at what emotions they might bring to you.  Instead embrace those loved ones with no worries in hand and know that everything will be alright.  You may have had a taste of what your dream could be,  but instead of holding onto that dream,  be strong through the difficult times as that's what builds your foundation.  Learn to love yourself again and don't be scared to speak your mind,  as the people you may want to speak to might have no idea what emotions you've kept inside.  Don't be scared of loosing what you love most,  as with that fear you may be apart of destroying what you have.  Trust in one another and yourself and constantly remind yourself that all will be okay.  Although some may not understand,  some may judge,  be truthful and honest with your heart open, as that's how the truth can show.  In the times to come when heartbreak passes through and disappointment comes upon you know that all paths will lead how they're supposed to.  Be kind, caring and strong.  Put your energy into love and not hate and believe in what the future holds. Moments of disbelief will pass,  but know  that greatness will be upon you.   Always believe the good in one another,  as it's easy to be blinded by the bad,  but light will always shine through darkness. Acknowledge your failures,  but don't hurt your heart or the hearts around you as they're fragile like no other through difficult times.  Believe in love,  laughter and trust,  as that's what will bring you joy in your life to come.

- Aaron Chapplain